Don't just survive -thrive!

Everywhere I look lately I see and hear my mommy friends talking about how much they are struggling, how overwhelmed they feel, how difficult it is trying to juggle work/kids/life and worst of all, how all of this makes them feel like a bad mom. Seriously, not just one or two people I know, but a whole swarm of overworked, underslept, mentally emaciated moms at the end of their rope crying out "What is going on?!?!?!" Which makes me question...what IS going on?We all know the pressures of life and what that can do to us physically, mentally, emotionally and personally. I don't care what anyone says, it's a tough gig being a mom and having to oversee the entire family while at the same time build into our relationships with both our children and husbands (not to mention other family and friends). Add to that work, career pursuits and education and it's absolutely no wonder some moms are feeling like they don't have a moment to down half a cup of cold coffee to give them the zap just to keep going. We live in a society where pressures are coming at us from every angle - whether it's the financial pressure of needing to simply get by and pay the bills, or perhaps the deadlines and expectations of high-flying careers that require our immediate attention and energy.And this is OUTSIDE of the house! Then, when we're already feeling exhausted and drained from our day, we come home to a brood of needy children (and rightfully so) and have to muster up from some minute little corner deep within us, the energy and enthusiasm to show genuine love, care, compassion and interest in them. FINALLY they are in bed, we delight, but now it's time to show that same love and input to our husbands to keep this foundational relationship alive and thriving. After yet another late night we barely have the capacity to wash the make up off our face (if we even had the capacity to put it on in the first place!) and slump into our bed, hoping for a semi-decent night sleep before we have to wake up at the first babbles of 'mom' in the morning and do it all over again.Wow. Pretty drastic picture. But it's the daily plight of so many of us."Is this it? Is this all there is?""Is it just me, or does anyone else feel so overwhelmed and as though they can't go on anymore?""I just feel like such a bad mom."These are the common threads of the honest and vulnerable cries of so many women I am hearing lately. But just because it is common doesn't mean it should be the norm. So how, then, do we do it? How do we get through the beautiful chaos of life, one day at a time without feeling like we are drained, overwhelmed or ready to run away to a far away island of fellow escapee mommies just trying to recuperate and regain ourselves?The answer? We can't. We don't. It's impossible. Isn't that encouraging!!! No, you say? Well, let me explain why that IS encouraging to me.We aren't designed to do this life in our own strength. We aren't created to take burden after burden upon ourselves and carry it heavily on our shoulders. We aren't called do everything and be everything for everyone. We are human! We are real women - flesh and blood - who have a physical limit and sometimes pushing that limit is the very thing that will snap us back into reality. Of course, that is the worst case scenario...it shouldn't take a mental breakdown, or physical illness to let us know that we've pushed it too far. We are also spirit and soul, and sometimes the burdens are too heavy for our hearts and minds to carry. But like I said, we were never meant to do this on our own. We were never meant to carry these burdens alone.Apart from the obvious fact that perhaps we need to take a good hard look at our life and see where we are doing too much and how we can pinpoint certain areas that we can either remove completely, or lessen the load, there IS an answer to learning to not just get through the day surviving, but to finish up thriving. Jesus tells us that when we live life with him at the center, when we walk closely with him, and hand over everything to him to take care of, we should feel freedom, lightness of load and peace and joy (Matt 11:28-30). In him we find rest. And it's from that place of rest that we can gather our strength and increase our capacity to keep going. It isn't about taking six months out to get away from it all - when we are fully living in him it means that AMONGST the daily tasks of life, AMIDST the work/family/life combination, WITHIN the place of pressures and expectations, we can draw our energy and strength from him as we go about our day because we are living FROM the place of rest.How do we find rest in him? We need to stop. We need to make time to refuel. It sounds counterintuitive, but we need to take time out and do less in order to be able to do more. I can guarantee you, if you can take a moment every day to spend time with God, you will have more energy and strength and will do all you need to do with ease and with oil AND with joy! While we're resting in him we are taking off the weights of the burdens we carry and placing them at his feet. He exchanges these for his yoke...which is light and easy!I hear so many moms say "I would love to do that, but I just don't have the time." I'm not asking you to take time, I'm (nicely!) telling you to MAKE time! I don't care how, just do it. If you need to get up an hour earlier than the rest of the household, if you have to stay up an hour later than everyone else, if you have to dump the kids on your husband and check out to a cafe, whatever, however, just do it! I know of a mom who used to literally lock herself in her closet so that her (older) kids couldn't find her, just so she could have some time with God in order to be able to go back out and face the rest of the day. Whatever you need to do, make the choice to do it, because what you will gain from this time in his presence and filling up on him will dramatically change the rest of your day and your head-space and heart-place. Isn't that worth it?!?!?!The funny thing is, it wasn't until I became a mom that I actually realised how invaluable this time is and how much I took it for granted previous to having kids. As crazy as it sounds, within the first few weeks of becoming a first time mom and having the 24 hour dependency of a newborn, the most difficult thing for me by far was losing this regular time with God. That's not to say that my newborn parent duties were easy....it's just proving how desperately I needed this time with God in order to be able to simply function! After weeks of wondering how I could manage it with a baby and if it would ever be like it used to be, I finally made the decision to just make it happen, no matter what. We will always find a way for things that are important to us. If there is no way, MAKE a way.Believe it or not, I actually spend MORE time with God now than what I used to before kids. How is that even possible? I suppose the catalyst for it all was because I did have it taken away from me in those first six or so weeks. You know how the saying goes, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. When I didn't have it was when I realised how much I needed it and how much I rely upon it. Although I look back now on my pre-baby life and see how much freedom I had to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (and of course, I did spend plenty of time with God back then, but it was easy to - I had the freedom!), I realise now how much I took it for granted.Nowadays (almost a year later), not a day goes by where I don't spend a decent amount of time by myself just resting in God's presence, praying, journaling, worshipping, studying the Word, whatever. I can safely say it is the strength of my day and my life. It took a good couple of weeks, probably months, to build up to this, but like I said, if we value something enough we will FIND a way to make it happen. How am I going to do this with two children, three children, four children? I have no idea! And I don't care, because I don't worry myself with the cares of tomorrow. I just know what is needed today, and I take each day as it comes, moment by moment. When my situation changes I know that God will give me the inspiration to know how to flow with it and there will always be a way to do all that I need to do and be all that I need to be. His mercies are new every day and he gives us fresh oil and a fresh anointing to handle each day as it comes.So if you are one of these mom's feeling overwhelmed, overworked and overloaded with the pressures of life, I truly encourage you to let go of all the burdens you are carrying and to hand them over to God. If you don't already, start taking some time out for yourself just to be with him. Maybe start with 15 minutes a day and gradually increase this time. Rest in him and be refreshed and strengthened to keep going - not just surviving, but thriving. This life is meant to be enjoyed and we are meant to savour every moment with our loved ones, amidst the realities of life as a mom in this crazy world.